Thursday, June 17, 2010

Make Up Sex

No, not like that. Or like that. I guess that phrase can have a few meanings.

I'm intrigued by the phenomenon of men (meaning pretty much any kind of male- boys, guys, gay, straight, whatever) letting their female friends or girlfriends put makeup on them, and it gratifying the girl more than anything. And no, I am not talking about myself. The reason I am not part of the phenomenon is one word: Let. Well, when I was fourteen or fifteen, yes. In early high school, yes, my male friends Let me put eyeliner on them to go to Rocky, and I had great fun doing it. And that was around the time that I began to really develop my attraction to super femme and androgynous men, so turning my regular male friends (some straight, some gay, some not yet out) into something that I found vaguely attractive was interestingly empowering. But perhaps I don't need that kind of so-called empowerment. I do not want to bend people to my will; I want them to fit my will on their own.

And in this way, and perhaps others too, make up is a lot like sex to me. I don't want some un-aesthete to Let me do stuff to him. And, also like sex to some people, maybe that was satisfying in high school, but as you gain experience, that particular brand of passivity becomes depressing. Okay, perhaps that was a stretch. But work with me here. What I mean is that in a similar way that one might want an eager and somewhat experienced sexual partner, I am attracted to men with cosmetic prowess. I do not want to be the one in control. If anything, it is hotter to have an aesthete male assist with my makeup or hair rather than vice versa (though depending on the situation, that can leave me feeling inferior and dependent). In a similar vein, many of the aforementioned women profess the hotness of boys wearing their clothes. That I understand and agree with more, though I'm often filled with envy when my clothes look better on a male body (because of my preferences, envy and lust have oft been intertwined; it's a strange life). And much like my preference for cosmetically skilled men, I find it much hotter to wear a boy's girl clothes than to give him mine. First and most importantly, it means he buys his own girl clothes. Second, I get to take rather than give, which is unusual when it comes to aesthetic exchanges between men and women. And hey, such are the joys of having a boyfriend who wears girl clothes, and often buys them too small by accident. I've racked up quite a collection.

I think all of this is a big part of aesthetisexuality as a whole. I don't want to impose my aestheticism onto someone when it is not their own. While they may look hot in my craft, it is not real. And if it didn't come from within, the attractiveness it produces is shallow in the most traditional sense. With aesthetisexuality, beauty is not (necessarily) skin deep because of all the thought, and often non-normative thought, that goes into it.

Autonomous aesthetic will is very important to me. In fact, forget who's doing whose makeup. The most satisfying primping situation is Tenebrae and I standing side by side in the bathroom, barely talking or even looking at each other, each doing our own makeup and hair before going out. It's like visual foreplay that pretty much never leads to actual sex. But then, I'm really kind of a creep.

My guess about girls who find genuine joy in dressing up and making up their boys is one of a couple of things. First, they may not yet have had the privilege of knowing males with their own aesthetic will and skill. This was kind of true of me at fifteen. Or, more often, I suspect that these women don't generally go for femme men, but still find it tantalizing and appealingly deviant in that particular situation. For example, I have known many, many women who claim attraction to femme or androgynous men, but have never dated or pursued one in reality. And I'm not saying that they are somehow bluffing, or anything like that, but rather that it is just not an ingrained priority. It is a fun addition. And hey, I'm certainly not frowning on that. A world full of men who are even just willing to once in a while test the waters of femininity, and not cling for dear life to traditional masculinity sounds freaking great to me.

This reminds me. For years I have had the idea of putting together a glossy hardcover book (as I avoid the term "coffee table book") of photos of people doing their makeup. All kind of people in all settings, from all walks of life. Over the top goth men and women, normal natural women, drag queens, drag kings, performers doing stage makeup, people doing each others' makeup to go out- everything imaginable. But I am not a photographer. And I could only model for one or two photos. So eventually I really do want to organize, catalyze, and I guess Produce this thing with the help of others. I'm not aware of anything specifically like this that already exists, and I hope my ignorance is correct.

1 comment:

  1. I'd buy that books. Well, I'd probably give it to my sister, because she's batshit for that kind of stuff--I should link her here, actually--but it's a pretty good idea.